Courtship and Marriage: How Chinese Relationships Progress
Many Chinese take dating and intimate relationships very seriously, with ancient values like Confucianism having a lasting influence over modern-day attitudes toward dating and intimate relationships.
Parents often arrange dates for their adult children through matchmaking markets where mail order bride china they display pictures and information of themselves to other potential families.
1. The lack of a dating phase
Chinese dating does not allow for much in the way of middle ground – couples begin relationships with marriage in mind from day one, which eliminates casual dates or one-night stands and forces an immediate commitment from both partners. Furthermore, young people face immense pressure to find someone by 26 or 27; failing which they could face the disapproval of family.
As China takes giant strides toward modernity, one might assume their traditional culture would change accordingly. Yet while some elements are shifting away from expectations of traditional dating culture in China, most of it remains intact and secure in Chinese dating culture.
Filial piety, or respect for parents and elders, plays an essential part of Chinese dating culture. Men and women will ask their parents before initiating any relationship – it is highly unlikely to last without approval of both parties involved.
Older Chinese individuals who experienced both the Cultural Revolution and rapid social and cultural shifts over the last several decades often reject the notion that their partners can choose their own partners, with two people being able to maintain separate social lives and friend circles if English is not spoken at home.
Younger generations tend to heed their parents’ wishes less often, and regression models have revealed that men and women who date without parental approval tend to kiss and have sexual relations on first dates more often, suggesting they may be shifting toward Western-style attitudes regarding dating and partner selection; though whether or not this change in outlook has any real influence remains uncertain.
With the rise of internet and mobile phone access, more young Chinese people are turning to Western cultures for ideas on dating and relationship-building. But it is also important to keep in mind that many Chinese individuals do not conform to stereotypes often spread on Weibo or other forums.
2. The pressure to get married
Chinese culture places enormous pressure on its children to marry soon, often to please both their parents and grandparents. Women reaching 25 without finding a husband are sometimes known as being “leftover,” leading them to date in hopes of pleasing both parties involved. Dating plays an integral part in China culture because young people use it as an avenue to please both sets of family.
China has an active dating scene that takes place both online and off, though the latter often begins through friends, mutual acquaintances, matchmaking apps or social media. While this doesn’t necessarily indicate young adults are abandoning traditional values for more modern attitudes.
No matter their arrangement, couples often spend much of their time together. Some even refer to one another as “husband” and “wife”, an indication of the deep commitment many Chinese couples feel towards one another.
Commitment can be especially high when two individuals contemplate marriage. Some young Chinese couples, for instance, undergo premarital health checks in order to ensure that both partners are healthy enough and able to conceive successfully. Furthermore, many couples seek parental approval of their relationship before proceeding further with any plans for marriage.
Studies indicate that traditional attitudes among younger Chinese generations may be shifting; however, others maintain that Chinese culture cannot easily change quickly. Some qualitative research indicates that young Chinese adults are beginning to alter their perspective on dating by moving away from traditional expectations; however this trend should still be treated as minority-specific.
Overall, it is essential to keep in mind that China’s dating landscape is still developing. Because of this, it is unlikely that centuries-old traditional gender roles will completely vanish from modern Chinese youth’s attitudes concerning mate selection and marriage; chinese mail order wives instead there may be an amalgamation or evolution of both traditional expectations with more modern attitudes about selecting potential mates; some Chinese youth may even choose an independent or Western-influenced lifestyle instead of adhering strictly to tradition.
3. The importance of family
No matter the gender, family is an extremely central component in Chinese dating culture. Parents frequently monitor and pressurize their children toward marriage – with women particularly feeling pressured due to family values such as reverence for elders and filial obligation which emphasize familial stability over professional accomplishments.
Though cultural factors play a prominent role in Chinese dating behaviors, economic developments appear to have an even more substantial effect on young adults’ mate selection and relationship preferences (Gittings 2006; Parrish & Farrer 2000). Economic developments appear to have an increasing effect on young adults’ selection and relationship preferences (Gittings 2006; Parrish & Farrer 2000), such as increasing educational attainment of women and occupational achievements creating more options for bargaining and decision-making within relationships. Furthermore, China is moving away from strong collectivist orientation toward individualistic mindset which could possibly leading to greater emphasis placed on individual needs over those of family units (Hynie et al. 2009).
Family is also manifest in other ways, including an emphasis on respecting elders and maintaining a positive public image. This value can often be observed when looking at how Chinese women carry themselves: striking a balance between poise, femininity and cuteness with vulnerability. “Saving Face” can also apply in one’s personal life by emphasizing discretion when dating or entering other relationships.
Men tend to experience less familial pressure to marry; however, due to China’s one-child policy and traditional preference for sons, male marriage rates have seen a severe squeeze that should continue for some time to come. This imbalanced ratio should influence Chinese men’s dating and mate selection behaviors and decision-making processes for dating or courtship. Furthermore, increasing prominence of youth subcultures should further amplify peer influence when making courtship or dating decisions.
4. The lack of sexuality
Chinese society is immensely varied. Home to over 1.4 billion people, each city in China boasts its own distinct culture. Women from Beijing may differ significantly from women from Lanzhou due to family backgrounds and educational experiences they received while growing up.
However, some general themes seem to be prevalent within contemporary Chinese dating culture. One such theme involves an intersection between traditional expectations and more progressive attitudes in Chinese young adults’ dating behaviors.
One of the major difficulties of dating in China is pressure from both family and friends to marry quickly, leading parents to organize dates between their children and potential partners or host “marriage markets” where their children’s information and photos can be displayed for interested parties to view.
As is the case in Western cultures, Chinese dating can often involve far less sexual activity than Western ones due to an emphasis on education before getting married and on social status and family ties.
There are indications of change, however. Regression models show that an increasing willingness to date without parental approval correlates to kissing and having sexual encounters on first dates, suggesting a shift away from traditional parental control is taking place.
As is true with many aspects of life, there exists an inherent tension between tradition and progress that will likely play out over the coming decades in Chinese dating culture. It will be fascinating to watch both elements coexist together as time progresses – this will surely prove fascinating!
Overall, dating in China varies greatly and it may be challenging for foreigners to adapt. Whether this is good or bad depends solely on each individual; nonetheless, having some knowledge can make the experience much more pleasurable for all involved parties.
